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"To see a world in a grain of sand, And a heaven in a wild flower; Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour." William Blake


Male Makeup

February 18th, 2007 by sunflowers

Today was going to go for a ride with my newly lowered forks but ended up spending the day helping my friend write a business plan and grant application for a male skincare range which I am helping her set up on the business and IT side in exchange for a small share of the business. I am the finance director.

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Chinese New Year

February 17th, 2007 by sunflowers

It is Chinese New Year tomorrow which means I get another go at my new years resolutions as my current ones aren’t really working out. Other than the soup I cooked I haven’t managed to do any of my own cooking this year. And after about two weeks of doing yoga in the morning I gave it up it up for sleeping in an extra half an hour before I walk an hour to work. I bought a book called ‘Manage Your Mind’ by Butler and Hope. I got to the chapter about cognitive therapy which is that the way you see things is vital to your mood. So my new, new years resolutions are to not beat myself about when I fall off track on things and to accept that Marks and Spencers which is right across from work is a viable healthy eating option for a single person. I will give myself till the end of the month to join a gym to do weights in the morning and yoga at lunch times.

Men are disturbed not by things but by the views which they take of them.
Epictetus, AD 55-135

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Lowered at Last

February 16th, 2007 by sunflowers

Fork BeforeFork AfterI attended my motorcycle maintenance course tonight and lowered the forks on my bike by 1.7cm. It is amazing the difference it makes. It feels like I am riding a totally different bike. It is like the difference between sitting in a pickup truck as compared to a car. It makes the bike look heaps smaller and I think not as cool but on the other hand it feels amazing to be able to almost put my feet flat on the ground when sitting on the bike and that if I drop it I am much more closer to the ground (though also made me think about getting knee guards put into my bike trousers).

Seeing all the sports bike when I was riding to work this morning made me realise I am probably going to be the only one on the track day on an euro bike.

I have just started listening to The Charlatans – Wonderland which I really like. I might have to see if the rest of their albums are as good.Short Bike

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Two sisters and a packet of crisps

February 15th, 2007 by sunflowers

The statistics page on my website shows the search strings that have brought up my website even if came up on page 101 of google. In December and January someone had done a search on ‘dawn annette twisty’. I just assumed that someone knew my sister’s name was Dawn and that I really liked Twisties (a corn based cheesy snack in NZ). Anyway I did a search on it and if someone did manage to come across my site it might explain the high page hit rate from the Netherlands. ps. if you do a search on those words don’t look at her pictures at work.

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Singles Awareness Day

February 14th, 2007 by sunflowers

A friend of mine emailed me that in Finland, Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä which translates into “Friend’s day”. As the name says, this day is more about remembering your friends than your loved ones. I always try to go back to New Zealand and spend this day with my grandmother, though that is mainly because February is when the best weather is.

A friend of mine came across this ad in ‘boys for girls’ section of a website which I thought was incredibly funny. I had a look at his website and it was amusing King of Extinction.

Hi!

Devilishly vulgar poster boy for bad behaviour, violently handsome and viciously amusing. Perennial bad influence, devoted to the twin pleasures of drunkenness and wilful antagonism. Looking for amusing, intelligent & binge-drinkingly fun female. With fire in her blood, a twinkle in her eye, and booze in her fridge. Who parties like a rockstar.

None of that “boo-hoo,-why-can’t-I-meet-a-nice-caring-sharing-very-rich-man.-Who-isn’t-gay.-Or-a-bastard.-Or-only-wants-me-for-beer-money-cos-I-have-the-personality-of-WET-XXXXING-CARDBOARD” stuff*.

*Hint: No “sensitive” men on a website catering for snakebite-drinking culture assassins. Just beered-up pervs, online commandoes, and bored office monkeys. With skin like porridge and the personality of toast.

‘Nice’ men exist only on PLANET XXXXING JANET, they’re a fantasy, a fallacy, an aberration, human xxxxing typos, an abortion of evolution denying the primeval urge to kick dinosaurs, old people and domestic animals.

And anyway, do you REALLY want a well-mannered gent, who values good conversation and fine wine? I mean, DO YOU? Aren’t you afraid the ****er will steal your moisturiser? Or feng-shui your house?

Right, back to the charm offensive (less of the charm, more of the offensive). NO muppets, puppets, mutants, morons, spazmos, gizmos, gimps, gonks, bassheads, pondlife, wildlife, cretins, eppies, flids, joeys, windowlickers, spackas, ginggers, mingers, munters, mooses, huffers, ventriloquists, or jugglers.

Sorry, no chavs neeva. While your promiscuity and feral ways are commendable, I ain’t your Robin Hoodie, Prince of Chavs. Just don’t have a penchant for casual violence or big-buckled shoes, and anyway my Reebok Classics ain’t prison-white, knowwhatImean,blud,nuffrespeck. I’m also allergic to Argos jewellery – it brings me out in fits of laughter.

Or if you’ve got a face like an old ladies elbow and can out-ming the Emperor Ming in an inter-galactic minging contest.

Or serious girls, who suck lemons and steal light from the sky. You’ll only bring me down with your political correctness, Fair-Trade tofu, and general all-round po-facery. And I certainly can’t have you picketing my local McDs, it’s the only chance I get to hang round non-educated delinquents and people fresh out of prison. You are a bore, and a very dull one at that. ‘Make Slogans History’.

And definitely NO noo-meeja w*nkerettes, with your spiky rats-tail mullet-mong hair, Crappucino breath, and mango-smoothie-coloured iPod with the “Liam Howlett Third World Big Issue Hubble Space Telescope Tea-Cosy Remix” of The Strokes ft. The TurdPushers. Esp. if you’re into spaz-faced mong Pete Doherty – he’s a stupid little posh-boy WHO CAN’T F***ING SING (just hurry up and die, you pallid no-talent c***). And I’m sure YOU think cocaine has made you interesting… Maybe you’d be less boring once I got to know you, but I don’t want to take that chance.

And no “feisty” in-yer-face mooters either. You”re not feisty, just annoying – even Samaritans wanna come round and break wind in your kitchen.

MILFs welcome, as long as you’re not older than dirt. And chunky chicks too, nowt wrong with a girl with some cushion for the pushin’. Just as long as ‘hour-glass figure’ refers to your curvocity. And not the time it takes to walk around you. (Just don’t have the energy to roll you in flour to find the wet spot )

Anyway, get in touch if you think I’m vaguely amusing and wanna be louche and dissolute. Esp. if you’re slutty n nutty like Anna Nicole Smith. P*ss off if you’re a genetic f***-up or think I’m obnoxious. It must be tough being 15 years old, people always trying to drown you and stuff. Why don’t you just climb onto your Special Needs tricycle and pedal your fat ass off a cliff?

Feel free to call, email, smoke signal. Fly a big kite. Paint a message on a fat kid (but get parents’ permission first – plumpies got rights too).

K.

Oh yeah, AND SEND A PIC. Of you. And the fridge.

BTW: I’m not some Stralian rugger bugger, Saffa ya-ya farm-boy (“AS well”), or Kee-Wee numpty wanting six at sux or fush and chups. English born and bled. But that doesn’t make me some privately-educated deeply suspicious bastard with an appetite for comfy slacks, enthusiastic bottom love, and making jam, harking back to those halcyon days when buggery was part of the school curriculum and head boy meant something completely different. *Fond memories of stiff upper lips, jam roly-poly, and sore botties*

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A little bit to do about nothing

February 13th, 2007 by sunflowers

Motorcycle Bloggers International www.mbiweb.org sent out an email reminding members to log their selections for the top five entrants in each category. It was a sharp reminder that my blog is moving further away from having almost anything to do about motorcycles. Though I have signed up for a Track day. The idea of doing it absolutely scares the socks off me and I have to get a set of leathers before I do it which is motivation enough to hurry up and join the gym.

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Restless

February 12th, 2007 by sunflowers

Every day that I walk to work I wish I was living in a different city. I really want to live in a couple of cities for six months or so. My top picks in no particular order are:-
Dubai – first heard about ex-pat living when I was working in Canberra and a guy was talking about working in Brunei. And I love visiting the middle east.
Any other hot country in an ex-pat position.
LA – my second cousin twice removed lives there with his wife and they are one of the coolest couples I know.
New York – Tonnes of stuff to do around that area and cool music scene.
Ottawa, Calgary, Montr̩al, Vancouver РBecause I sound Canadian to everyone but I have never really lived there as an adult.
Germany – Best recycling country I have visited. Netherlands – down to earth and great looking people. Denmark – Fun and gorgeous people. But they all might be too cold.

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Roundabouts, Motorways and Overtaking

February 11th, 2007 by sunflowers

I really have to pick up my socks on the preparation for this trip. I know that 14-17 months is quite a long time but it will just fly by. I didn’t do any practice before my advanced riding lesson on Sunday (which is very unfair to all the people that give up so much time to help you learn). I also ran out of petrol near the end of the ride. I only managed to get 154 miles before hitting reserve. Aside from all that they said that my roundabouts and motorways were fine but needed to work on my overtaking. Also I want to start learning spanish and maybe how to tango.

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Psychometric Profiling

February 10th, 2007 by sunflowers

I saw this website through the metro that uses psychometric testing to match you up with a partner. I was quite curious to see if it works so I joined a bit before xmas. Ironically anyone that I have had a good match with personality wise stopped contacting me after I sent my picture. This is why it is just better to have a picture up so they don’t contact you in the first place.

Picture of me by candle lightI finally had a date with someone off the site even though we didn’t match particularly highly. It started well and there was definitely an attraction which on my side wasn’t even fuelled by alcohol as I wasn’t drinking due to having my advanced riding class in the morning. Unfortunately I think it started to go downhill when I said that the next place to go was only a twenty minute walk and he wasn’t too impressed to be walking in the rain. I thought it was looking up when he asked if he could see me tomorrow but it turns out that he actually meant that he wanted to stay the night which he didn’t and I haven’t heard from him since. He did say that I look different from my pictures but even they didn’t look like the same person and took a picture of me saying that candle light would be flatting. I don’t know I think it looks a bit ghoulish.

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Party Picture

February 9th, 2007 by sunflowers

Published with PermissionWe have a bar in the basement of our parent company where we can socialise on Thursday and Friday night on £1.20 bottled beer. Brilliant eh! After chatting to my colleagues I headed to Sway (a three room club in the basement of a West End hotel – I am not really into clubbing but I was quite impressed) to meet up with my mate who works with the civil service. She is the only female in a big team of blokes and I have been hearing about them for a few years so it was nice to finally put faces to the names. They were all super friendly and very good dancers. I did take a photo of all of us on the dance floor but I won’t put it on the web as I heard about someone I know posting a photo of his work christmas party on his blog and getting pulled up by HR for it. All her colleagues left pretty early but we found three cute Dutch students to dance with so we stayed.

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